That's it, we are moving

I want to move.  Badly.

We have a gorgeous home now.  It is big.  Four bedrooms for my family of four and two and a half bathrooms. It has a finished basement, dining room, family room, kitchen, a "bonus" room.  Over the seven years we have lived here we have made it "ours" with paint and renovations, furniture and "nick knacks".  It really is  our "dream" home.....and I cannot wait to sell it. 

Few people know of our house hunting and plans to downsize as of this moment in time.  Few people would really understand what we are trying to gain for our family by trimming the fat.  Everywhere it is understood that bigger is better.  Bigger and "more" equates to financial success.  Having it all leads to happiness and freedom.  In this short time of financial "clarity" that we have experienced, a lot has come into focus.  The blurred images of what true wealth means to our family has sharpened themselves.  I no longer see the things that I once yearned for, saved for.  The pricey clothes, the decor, the cars and the furniture.  Instead I see my kids, my boys, outside in the woods, most likely by a creek somewhere with fishing poles in hand.  Mike is running up ahead with them and I am lagging behind a little (okay a lot) with the dog's leash in one hand and a cooler full of an overestimated amount of snacks, drinks and "just in case" items that the gang may need.  This is my happy.  So how do I get this all the time?  How do I take our current stable, suburban life that we thought we wanted 7+ years ago and transform it into THE DREAM?  We sell.  We sell the concrete and drywall box that is full of our stuff that we have collected over the years and we trade it in for a mortgage-less, smaller concrete and drywall box and we fill that with our (downsized) pile of stuff that we have collected over the years.  It is just a house.  It is just stuff.  My clear picture has us living mortgage free and that much closer to freedom for Mike (whatever he decides that that freedom means to him).  I am willing to give it all up for "Future Steph".  Future Steph has the clearest, sharpest picture of what happy is and it includes less bathrooms to clean and clutter to organize. 

The house hunting has officially begun over the past couple of weeks.  I have unintentionally memorized every home on the market in our area.  We have toured two local homes and are scheduled to see at least two (maybe three) open houses tomorrow.  As it seems to be the case most times, dealing with all of this "clarity" is difficult with the kids in the picture.  They are school-aged and are settling into their identities, sort of.  At 9 and 10 years old, my boys are each others best friends.  We tend to stick together more as a family in general than we are to reach out to friends and clubs or teams for support and validation.  We play sports but we do it for the team experience and fun of the sport.  We are not die hard any thing's in that light.  My kids love music.  They are really talented musicians.  J plays bass clarinet and was in the All County Music Festival recently and C seems to be following not far behind in his footsteps.  They seem to be attached to the music program in our current school district, especially J.  I get it.  C has one more year in his current school where he is looking forward to being a big Fifth Grader and experience all of the privileges that he has watched J experience this year.  So we are currently focusing our home search in our current school district, more specifically in the area that would allow for C to remain in his elementary school for next year.  This limits us A LOT.  I have found countless homes in our district, but not in our elementary school area that I just love and would be a perfect downsize for us.  The homes thus far in our immediate area are either too much (space, money, upkeep) or less money but  just need too much work or are not big enough for a family of 4.

It is a constant inner battle for me trying to decide what is the better path.  Rip my kid(s) from their safe place and drop them in a new environment in which I am sure they would (eventually) adjust to just fine, or do we wait it out.  Wait the year, deal with what we have until we can get what we want with less disruption to the kids lives.    I am not sure right now.  If a home I absolutely loved were to pop up a town over I don't know what I would do. 

I look forward to wandering through strangers homes tomorrow though.  That is always fun.  No one ever gives you a green light to go through medicine cabinets and drawers except for Open Houses.  Then it is not only excused, it is expected.  Here is to finding unusual things in peoples drawers.